Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Worst of 2010

Worst celebrity baby names of 2010 (via

Buddy Bear Maurice (Jamie Oliver & Juliette Norton)
Egypt Daoud (Alicia Keys & Kaseem Dean)
Cosima (Claudia Schiffer & Matthew Vaughn)
Axel (Will Ferrell & Viveca Paulin)
Krishna (Padma Lakshmi)
Gideon Scott (Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka)
Billie Beatrice (Eric Dane & Rebecca Gayheart)
Abel James (Amy Poehler & Will Arnett)
Vida (Matthew McConaughey & Camila Alves)
Nelson (Céline Dion & René Angélil)

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Five Names of Death--One Confirmed Kill

Well as it turns out...

Abcde (pronounced Ab-si-dy) is actually a legit name. There were 32 girls born in 2009 who share it and 28 born in 2008.

1 down. 4 lives to go.

Monday, October 18, 2010

What's Next? Cinnamon Roll?

Pulled from a friend of mine's Facebook status:

"WOW...just met a lady that actually named her baby Bunbun. She said she named him that because he was cute at birth."
Epic FAIL. Parenting license REVOKED.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Denial is not just a river in...

So Alicia Keys and Swizz beats had a boy.

His name according to is:

Egypy Daoud Dean


No comment

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Who Knew...

Via Yahoo!

A little video about most common first names (i.e. breakers of the Wonder Bread Rule).

There's an interesting little tidbit about last names too.

Who Knew: Most Common First Names

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tales From the Open Mic Part 3

Haven't had one of these moments in awhile.

Was standing outside a venue last night after a mini fight broke out between a couple (nothing but and I'm talking to the bouncer and the host of another venue (who I'd never met until last night)...

Somehow we got to talking about our kids. The host says he has a 17 year old. The bouncer gives me a look and says "oh he started young--he started at 12"

I think he's joking so I ask the host how old he is. He says...


[insert pause. do the math in your head. make the same screw face I just did and then continue reading]

The host walks away for a second to check on one of the people from the fight and the bouncer turns to me and says "and you know what his name is?"

[wait for it...wait for it...]


that's "Geez-us" btw not "Hey-seus"

*drops mic walks away*

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

So Bad It's Awesome...

I'll only preface this briefly and then you can bask in the awesomeness...

There's a story on yahoo this morning about a 6'9 junior college basketball player.

His REAL given name:

God's Gift Achiuwa

Click here for the story

Friday, June 4, 2010

And I Quote...

Posted on FB by a friend of mine. Both of her daughters are having babies.

"Dear fb, she really likes the name jakyra but monte the 2nd it will be."

The other child is to be named Timmiyyah (which I think is pronounced like Tamia).

(yes E darling I am putting you on blast. Still love you though! Muah)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Speaking in tongues...

Damn you Rickey Smiley...smh

"Paternity Test Tuesday"... smh



Today... they had a couple who was way too f%^&$%# young to be getting paternity tests done. The mom was 14 (WTF????)

The grandmother (who by the way was only 31!!!!), her name was Sheba. Now the girl was supposedly named after the mom. I'm not entirely sure I am spelling this correctly, but her name was:


I promise you. I PROMISE YOU...I did not make that up. The hosts kept pronouncing it like Sha-ba-la-qwe-ta.

*blank stare*

Friday, May 7, 2010

Baby Name Day- changes and surprises is the SSA TOP NAMES 2009

Boys: 1) Jacob Girls: 1) Isabella

2) Ethan
2) Emma

3) Michael
3) Olivia

4) Alexander
4) Sophia

5) William
5) Ava

6) Joshua
6) Emily

7) Daniel
7) Madison

8) Jayden
8) Abigail

9) Noah
9) Chloe


In a shocker....Emily drops to #6 and Emma is overthrown for Isabella. On the boys side it's team Jacob for the

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Uber appropriate or hilariously ironic?

Nigeria swore in a new president today.

His name--his real given name:

Goodluck Jonathan

I promise you I did not make this up.

By the way...Sunday the new SSA popular baby name list comes out. :)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Worst Celeb Baby Names

Came across the short funny video about some of the worst celebrity baby names from last year:

More celeb baby names (and there are a few doozies in there that I can be found by clicking here .

Monday, April 12, 2010

I Can't Take You Seriously When Your Name Makes Me Hungry

Dang it Steve Harvey... (gonna try and see if I can get audio for this, but probably not until tomorrow).

Heard on the radio this morning via the Steve Harvey morning show:

A girl calls in to comment on a regular segment they have called "Strawberry Letter"

Steve: What's your name?
Girl: Cinnamon.
[the hosts start laughing...and they can tell the jokes are coming]
Steve: Is that your real name?
Girl: Yes.
Steve: Where're you from. You from the country ain't you?
[the girl laughs and confirms she's from somewhere in Kentucky. The other hosts are trying not to laugh and the girl says something to the effect of "I've heard all the jokes" and not to mention she is a psychiatrist]
Steve: That had to be a country name. Ain't no city folks 'fin to name their kid Cinnamon. He 'gon rise to the top let's name hom Baking Powder. She's so sweet, let's name her Condensed Milk.

[at which point I started laughing so hard I nearly spit my coffee out]

Smh. And I thought about this... (catch the reference at 2:26. ROTFL)

Thursday, April 1, 2010

We Put the Fan in Fanatic!

A couple from Alabama who happen to be huge Alabama football fans, took their fanaticism to the next level by naming their son:

Crimson Tide Redd

Oh how I wish this was an April Fool's prank, but you can read the full article here

Roll Tide! *Face palm*

Monday, March 29, 2010

Join the "Club"

So my brother calls me today...his new girl has a couple of kids. Yeah, why is one of them named...


Yeah you read that correctly. First name, not last. My response: Please for the love of Captain Crunch tell me the other child's name isn't Goofy. My brother says: you think that's bad, she also has twins and started to name them Mickey and Minnie.

And ironically I'll give you one guess as to where they live...



Monday, March 22, 2010


This is a little bit of a divergence, but I couldn't resist. :)

So a lot of people have been talking about SXSW (South by Southwest)--if you're unfamiliar, it a huge music and movie festival--in the case of music they do a lot of showcasing of emerging and up and coming artists (actually at least two of the groups are folks I know of from performing). But how that relates to WNTNYB-- maaaaaaan, some of these band name are off the chain. Who thinks this stuff up??? Here are my TOP 10 band names from SXSW:

10. The Stationary Set -this could be a clever pun or a way of saying they write while sitting on the couch all day

9. Nervous Turkey

8. The Eh Team DJs- they're from Canada. Cute, very cute.

7. Landmine Marathon- many jokes here

6. MC Frontalot- really?...REALLY?

5. Cubic Zirconia- until you get discovered I guess that's all the bling you can afford?

4. Dikes of Holland- oh how I love double entendre

3. My Dad is Dead- and you named a band in his thoughtful

2. And So I Watch You From Afar--and so I have a restraining order

1. Abe Vigoda- this could possibly be the most awesome band name EVER

Honorable mentions to: Butterfly Explosion; Goons of Doom; The Mother Truckers; The Uglysuit and The Pharmacy

Monday, March 8, 2010

March Madness 2010

Ok... as you can guess I am a college basketball fan. Doesn't hurt that my alma mater is currently ranked #1 (that would be SYRACUSE. Go Orange!)

So in honor... This is the WNTNYB Sweet 16 edition. I've picked 16 of the best of the worst--baby names that is--from the cities where the top four ranked schools are (that would be Syracuse, Duke, Kansas and Kentucky). In this year's brackets we have:

Bless Stariah
A'Miracle (aren't they ALL?)
Lamaj (which is Jamal spelled backwards)
M'nyii (I am still at a loss as to how to pronounce this)
Mirak (which is Karim spelled backwards--I have my secret theory about this and the other one...they're twins btw, but I'll leave you to your own thoughts here)

Coach calls for a time

Thursday, March 4, 2010

EJB Promo Video

This is the first in a series of promotional videos for the EJB book:

The 5 Names of Death--Contest

Forgive my old kung fu movie

As I am starting to get feedback on the book, I'm noticing something. Whenever anyone has a name story there are 4 names that repeatedly come up. It's never "I know this person:"...but rather those I know someone who knows someone type of stories and I can't verify that these names actually exist... so... I open this up to anybody who can PROVE these people are real. Shoot, if I can get even one positive verification I will turn this into a full on contest.

#1. Orangello/Lemongello. Snopes debunked this, but this had to have originated somewhere and hence I think it's possible they exist

#2. Abcde (pronounced Ab-se-dee). I've heard this one a few times, googled it and can neither confirm nor deny that someone was that lazy and just ran down the alphabet.

#3. Female (pronounced fe-MAHL-lee). Depending on who tells the story the mom though the doctor named the baby or decided to be cute. Either way...smh.

#4. Shithead (pronounced shi-THEED). This might be one that is legit, but again can neither completely confirm nor deny, though there are many on the web who say they've witnessed this atrocity.

I would like proof that these people are real... by proof, I mean a legitimate source (news story etc.,) that has the name or, a yearbook picture...something of that nature.

Now in the post title notice I said FIVE names of death. This fifth one might be worth a prize if it exists... In earlier posts I've come across the following names: Manhattan, Bronx, Queens (with the 's'), Harlem (which I predicted jokingly, just days before I found it), Brooklyn, and Jersey.

What I am looking for to complete the pattern... is a kid named Staten Island

Let the game begin...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

North of the Border

While I'm preparing press info for the new book, I came across an article on names in Canada (specifically Alberta)... They just released statistics for babies born last year

They broke down a list of "unique" names (as in, only having appeared once last year)...Here are some of the more usual ones:

Qhloe (seriously???)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Science agrees with me...go figure

I must post this because this is not only ironic, but'll see.

So currently on the front page of Yahoo! 9via Live Science) is an article entitled
Parents Choosing More Unusual Baby Names Now

I'm thinking...I LITERALLY just wrote the book on this but ok...what's funny is, the article points out that giving children odd names is akin to narcissism.

So I had to add my two cents to the comment page of course and then a comment exchange caught my eye (I think someone in the conversation missed the point but again you'll see what I mean...) I've highlighted the key points...LMAO

XXXX wrote:

I think one reason people are choosing more unusual names is that they do not want their child to be one of many in a classroom sharing the same name. For example, Lily S. and Lily W. in the same class. People may also want their child's name to reflect their ancestral background. Also, we are exposed to far more names than any previous generation thanks to immigration and the media. What I do not understand are the people who give their child a popular name and change the spelling, as if that somehow makes them different. I feel sorry for the kids whos parents make up stupid names.


XXXX wrote:

Some names aren't unusual, they're just spelled differently. I named my daughter Aydrienne Alecx. My name is very common, and in a high school class of about 400 I had several girls in my class with the same first name. I wanted something unique for my daughter because nothing common interested me and my ex-husband. Common names are safe. Unique represents my personality. Nowadays, uncommon is the new common. My fiance and I have also picked unique names for our future children. I'm not picking "unusual" names for my benefit. I want my child to be unique. I believe in individualism. Why does everyone have to be the same? Why do I have to conform & name my children a common name like Mary or Robert? My name is Sarah & my fiance's name is Steven. I have several friends named Jenny. Sometimes common isn't always better!

*major eyeroll and facepalm* Extra points to whoever can tell me how many rules that name broke.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Your Honor...

So, two full days in and the EJB book is already generating some funny names stories...

Let me start by saying I have some awesome supportive friends!!

This story comes via my friend AJ.

AJ is a motivational speaker and a member of Toastmasters. She ordered a copy of the book on the day it was released. As it happens she had to give a humor speech at her Toastmasters meeting so she structured it around the book.

She messaged me to say, not only did she win her competition, but here's what happened next...

Apparently one of her audience members laughed to the point of tears. He came up to her afterwards and told her that he was a law student. Ironically, he'd just had to sit through a trial where one of the participants had a rather "unusal" name...

It was so bad in fact the judge (who was apparently one of those old school southern types) actually had trouble calling this woman by her name. That's because her name was...(wait for it, wait for it...)


...and I'm done. ROTFL.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

BIG Announcement!!!

Well... after a lot of work...

EJB the book is now available in print and download

Click the link to view/order

It will be available through within the next week or two.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


I had to laugh this morning.

Stuck in traffic I found myself flipping radio stations and landed on the Rickey Smiley morning show. I'm not usually a huge fun, but every week they do a segment called "Paternity Test Tuesdays," where they have a couple in the studio live to find out the results of a paternity test.



Today... they had a couple who were getting a paternity test for their 17 year old (???--yeah 17 ??? why now??? I don't know).

Well the mother's name was Beth. The father's name was Sam. And the girl's name...


[insert scooby doo noise here]

I thought I had misheard this, but the hosts started snickering...and then one of them asked first for the parents to spell it...and then if the name had any special significance.

Dad's answer: "well I was a big fan of Bo Jackson, so we just ran with it"

*head smack*

aaaaaaaaand I'm done.

PS. She wasn't his daughter

Friday, February 12, 2010

Lion-O...You Are NOT the Father

The advantage of being snowed in for a get to catch up on all the talk shows.

In particular I love Maury... because constant episodes about paternity testing means lots of babies and lots of babies means lots of weird baby names.

In this case it wasn't a paternity test, but a guest who was sure her sister was cheating with her boyfriend or some such mess. I probably would've tuned it out except her name was...


You may be thinking to yourself...hmmm... that name sounds vaguely familiar.

*Face palm*
Thundercats! Thundercats! Thundercats...hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Monday, February 1, 2010

I'll Take You...Shopping?

I forgot about this one until someone reminded me on Facebook...

The Staple Singers...the patriarch of the group was Roebuck "Pops" Staple. What most people don't know is he had a twin who's name is... Sears

Friday, January 29, 2010

At Least They're Not Named ESPN...

Lately I've come across a spate of professional and soon to be professional athletes with some funky names Coco Crisp who plays Major League baseball; Miroslav Satan, an NHL player and Dick Trickle, NASCAR driver (I'll leave you to write your own jokes on that

Nowhere though have I found a better batch of wacky names however than college sports...sigh, here we go...

Gelo Orange, who played for Wake Forest
Dusty Rust of Virginia Tech
Foxy Foxworth of South Carolina

and then the brotherhood(s) of jacked up names:

Scientific Mapp and his brother Majestic Mapp who played for FAMU and Virginia respectively
Immaculate-Perfection Harris and his brother Supreme Justice (IP played for Georgia Tech)

and my favorite...

a high school athlete and top recruit out of Florida named...

Yourhighness Morgan.

Yourhighness also according to an article I read (from the Orlando Sentinel I believe), has a brother named Handsome and cousins named Prince and Gorgeous.

all they need now is two kids named Guten and Captain...ROTFL.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Possibly the Worst Worst Name EVER!

This is an actual birth announcement page from one of the Sister's of Levenworth Hospitals which I think is in Kansas. I came across it by accident on another blog and took a screen shot...because I'm quite sure if you didn't see it you might not believe it.

Past that, I won't even comment...

All the Cool Kids Are Doing it Part IV

I can't help it... every time I get back to work on the book somehow I find myself back at the nameberry site...and it never fails I find some travestry splashed across the front page that perpetrates itself as the next "cool kid" name.

Sigh... for the love of Captain Crunch, please tell me none of these are trending.

Gogol (anagram this and it's almost Google)
Nacho (side eye...really??)
Perpetua (now I looked this one up and discovered it's a Christian Saint, but that doesn't make the name any more likeable because I'm trying to figure out what her nickname would be)
Ring (you know if you're going to pick a word name...sigh...)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Empire State of Mind?

It had to happen sometime...

There's an annoying trend in kids named Brooklyn. Ashley Simpson named her kid Bronx. I've come across a child name Harlem... sigh...

And now hailing from the great state of Utah (yeah UTAH!!???!!!)

The day I find a child named Staten Island I am officially DONE.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Why I Advocate Rule #8

So I started back to graduate school today.

First order of business orientation where of course in true first day of school fashion they made us slap on the requisite "Hi my name is" blue name tag.
I didn't have time to write something smart ass on mine since I was running late so I was obliged to just go with my given name.

In any case, during the mixer I played the back (as I usually do in untested social situations)... and after a glass of wine or two decided to make a game of observing the name tags of my classmates...

Now allow me to pause...I don't believe I have this rule posted, but RULE #8--I strongly strongly advocate NOT giving kids overly generic (or what I call "wonder bread") names because then you're more apt to find yourself in a situation like I did tonight.


In a group of about 30-40 people, there were 2 Candaces, 4 Lauras, 3 Jens or Jennifers and a couple of Tiffanys. I almost felt like I was in the department of redundancy department. LOL

What are the odds? But my two favorite names of the evening...

I met a girl named Artemis which I actully think is an awesome name...I've just never seen before.

And then there was Southerlyn

Spelled just like I typed it. I thought to myself that's unusual. Not quite sure how I feel about it though. Hmmmm...

I'll take your opinions on that one.