At Least They're Not Named ESPN...

Lately I've come across a spate of professional and soon to be professional athletes with some funky names Coco Crisp who plays Major League baseball; Miroslav Satan, an NHL player and Dick Trickle, NASCAR driver (I'll leave you to write your own jokes on that one...lol).

Nowhere though have I found a better batch of wacky names however than college sports...sigh, here we go...

Gelo Orange, who played for Wake Forest
Dusty Rust of Virginia Tech
Foxy Foxworth of South Carolina

and then the brotherhood(s) of jacked up names:

Scientific Mapp and his brother Majestic Mapp who played for FAMU and Virginia respectively
Immaculate-Perfection Harris and his brother Supreme Justice (IP played for Georgia Tech)

and my favorite...

a high school athlete and top recruit out of Florida named...

Yourhighness Morgan.

Yourhighness also according to an article I read (from the Orlando Sentinel I believe), has a brother named Handsome and cousins named Prince and Gorgeous.

all they need now is two kids named Guten and Captain...ROTFL.

And how exactly do you sign the cards....

WNTNTB will be on hiatus until the new year. New names will be stacked in the arsenal and ready to kick off 2009. Until then here are some of my favorite recent "weird name" articles.

Swedish couple fights to name their baby Metallica
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,263700,00.html

Judge makes child a ward of the court to change her name from Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2008-07-24-New-Zealand_N.htm

The real Dow and Indiana Jones
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/08/01/unusual.names.irpt/index.html

And then... the child with 25 middle names
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=147326&in_page_id=34

50% off- Today Only

Last minute holiday shopping and bargain basement markdown names. Ah, I love December.

Here's today blue light specials:

Bonniesha

Tuesdy (not a typo...it was spelled with no 'a')

Sundae (and if her brother's name is Whipped Cream I'm done!)

Septymber

Saint

Trill (so many jokes are coming...)

Ly'Rique (wtf???)

Brax (not Braxton, just Brax like they were just too lazy to spell it out...lol)

Trentnidy (again...wtf???)

Author

Phynix

Vanity (I'ma sex shooter/shooting love in you direction...de de de de/de de de deeeeee. MY bad!)

Hennessy (so ghetto fab)

Tron

and this catastrophe:

Ne'Vayah

side commentary: Neveah (which is Heaven spelled backwards) is a name which I am increasing starting to dislike because it is becoming waaaay too trendy for it's own good. The novelty has worn off. So to take an already too trendy name and try to spell it creatively creates an ill fated disaster waiting to happen as with the above. *Smdh* Huge sigh. Eyes rolling. Smacking forehead.

NFL- "Named Foolishly League"

I don't like football. Really I don't. I just can't seem to get into a sport where a bunch of grown men wearing tight pants chase around a piece of leather while purposely tackling each other, patting each other on the a$$ and then dance around like MC Hammer on crack once they reach the end zone (several hours later).

However, it has not escaped my attention that along with having big muscles, no neck, some speed and a willingness to endure brutal punishment at the hands of 300 pound men hitting you head on in your guts for a million plus bucks a year, an odd name seems almost a prerequisite for joining the NFL.

So after some research and consultation with a few guy friends of mine here are some of the more off the wall names of real (mostly current) NFL players. Most of these are first name only...although I did find a few intriguing first/last name combinations.

Plaxico

Tuff

Ocho Cinco (it's legally changed)

Tebucky

Lawyer

Peerless

D'Brickashaw

Earthwind

Atari

Craphonso

Elvis

Cletis

Aveion

Na'il

Cadillac

Tank

Napoleon

Rock

Early

Shawntae (typically this is a girl's name)

Ritchie Incognito

Syndric Steptoe

And my favorite just because you really can't say it with a straight face...

Dick Butkus