Join the "Club"

So my brother calls me today...his new girl has a couple of kids. Yeah, why is one of them named...

Disney

Yeah you read that correctly. First name, not last. My response: Please for the love of Captain Crunch tell me the other child's name isn't Goofy. My brother says: you think that's bad, she also has twins and started to name them Mickey and Minnie.

And ironically I'll give you one guess as to where they live...

Florida.

Done.

North of the Border

While I'm preparing press info for the new book, I came across an article on names in Canada (specifically Alberta)... They just released statistics for babies born last year

They broke down a list of "unique" names (as in, only having appeared once last year)...Here are some of the more usual ones:

Crazyhorse
Alias
Lightning
Philopateer
Wrath
Yak
Iex
Eloquence
Fury
Poetic
Qhloe (seriously???)
Society
Xanet
Gallary

Your Honor...

So, two full days in and the EJB book is already generating some funny names stories...

Let me start by saying I have some awesome supportive friends!!

This story comes via my friend AJ.

AJ is a motivational speaker and a member of Toastmasters. She ordered a copy of the book on the day it was released. As it happens she had to give a humor speech at her Toastmasters meeting so she structured it around the book.

She messaged me to say, not only did she win her competition, but here's what happened next...

Apparently one of her audience members laughed to the point of tears. He came up to her afterwards and told her that he was a law student. Ironically, he'd just had to sit through a trial where one of the participants had a rather "unusal" name...

It was so bad in fact the judge (who was apparently one of those old school southern types) actually had trouble calling this woman by her name. That's because her name was...(wait for it, wait for it...)

Clitoris

...and I'm done. ROTFL.

I'll Take You...Shopping?

I forgot about this one until someone reminded me on Facebook...

The Staple Singers...the patriarch of the group was Roebuck "Pops" Staple. What most people don't know is he had a twin who's name is... Sears

At Least They're Not Named ESPN...

Lately I've come across a spate of professional and soon to be professional athletes with some funky names Coco Crisp who plays Major League baseball; Miroslav Satan, an NHL player and Dick Trickle, NASCAR driver (I'll leave you to write your own jokes on that one...lol).

Nowhere though have I found a better batch of wacky names however than college sports...sigh, here we go...

Gelo Orange, who played for Wake Forest
Dusty Rust of Virginia Tech
Foxy Foxworth of South Carolina

and then the brotherhood(s) of jacked up names:

Scientific Mapp and his brother Majestic Mapp who played for FAMU and Virginia respectively
Immaculate-Perfection Harris and his brother Supreme Justice (IP played for Georgia Tech)

and my favorite...

a high school athlete and top recruit out of Florida named...

Yourhighness Morgan.

Yourhighness also according to an article I read (from the Orlando Sentinel I believe), has a brother named Handsome and cousins named Prince and Gorgeous.

all they need now is two kids named Guten and Captain...ROTFL.

Possibly the Worst Worst Name EVER!

This is an actual birth announcement page from one of the Sister's of Levenworth Hospitals which I think is in Kansas. I came across it by accident on another blog and took a screen shot...because I'm quite sure if you didn't see it you might not believe it.

Past that, I won't even comment...

All the Cool Kids Are Doing it Part IV

I can't help it... every time I get back to work on the book somehow I find myself back at the nameberry site...and it never fails I find some travestry splashed across the front page that perpetrates itself as the next "cool kid" name.

Sigh... for the love of Captain Crunch, please tell me none of these are trending.

Cello
Kinga
Gogol (anagram this and it's almost Google)
Nacho (side eye...really??)
Perpetua (now I looked this one up and discovered it's a Christian Saint, but that doesn't make the name any more likeable because I'm trying to figure out what her nickname would be)
Vionenet
Ring (you know if you're going to pick a word name...sigh...)
Fig
Utah
Quebec

Utah...

Utah Baby Namer has been around for awhile and I never fail to find some amazingingly hideous baby names. Kudos to them!

I love this site, because nothing screams "I'm a Mormon" like naming your child any of the following:

Allora LaLovi
Artax
Astrolena
AureJudd
Azer Baloo
Brighamena
Budge
Castle
Chevrolette
Confederat America
Daxson Ekewaka
Denim Levi
Friends Forsaken
Helamans Warrior
Hereditary
Honey Baretta
Mint
Perpegillion
Spoon
Thankful Flood
Welcome Exile
Zaragrunudgeyon

All The Cool Kids Are Doing It...Part II

I couldn't resist...here are some more "supposedly cool" baby names from the "experts." SMH...

Elmo
Eilidh
Frost
Topaz
Danube
Severina
Plum
Varinia
Vermillion (!!!...!!!...!!!...??????????????)
Constant
Laragh (I believe this to be a horrible misconglomeration that's pronounced like "Laura")
Benajah (blank stare...)
Polexia (a disease which causes people to involuntarily vomit when you tell them your child's name)

All the Cool Kids Are Doing It...

The gurus of baby names are Satran & Rosenkrantz. They've written 10 books and collected thousands of names. Every so often I see them cited in baby name blogs hyping the latest in name trends.
...
Just today as I was scanning, I came across their list of "cool" baby names.

Um...Perhaps I missed the memo, but if this is what constitues "cool" ...

Well, [insert look of complete confuzzlement] I won't commentary I'll just let you decide. Here's a small sample of names that made their "cool" list:

Zinc
Romola
Cayenne
Henna
Currier
Phynley
Primus
Feather
Azuba
Beech
Prairie
Fyodor
Banjo
Huckleberry
Quadeisha
Tulsa
Picabia
Remember
Amsterdam
Django

I'll be over at the nerd table if anyone needs me.

I Feel Like a Bobble Head

Sometimes I find names that just make me shake my head. There's just no other appropriate reaction. I do it so much now I'm beginning to feel like a bobble head.

Some of my more recent SMH finds:

Edhwyn
Justevious
Innocense
Yahyah
Ny'zyere
Nye'jaiah (no relation to the above)
Jae'Len
Murryea (I'm assuming this is a variation or Mariah)
Lileaunna

Honoree

Knathaniel

Mozeak
Monserrat
Jerushamah

and two that seem destined to meet someday...

Fire and Diesal

shakes head sadly and walks away

Wow...so does he speak wookie?

The official return of WNTNYB was going to be tomorrow, but I saw this just today and just had to share...

a gentlemen in Norway has officially changed his name to

Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov

According to the article...
Julius is an homage to the famous chimp at the Kristiansand Zoo
'Arn' is a Swedish knight movie
Elessar and Gimli are from 'Lord of the Rings'
'MacGyver', just the greatest Richard Dean Anderson show ever!
'Highlander' could refer to either the movie or TV show
Chewbacka (aka Chewbacca) is from 'Star Wars'

and that makes this officially the name of a man who will probably never get laid again. The link for the full article is below

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/11/julius-andreas-gimli-arn_n_284276.html?alacarte=1

Pronounce this name...

see more pwn and owned pictures

One more reason why I love Failblog. ROTFL

Why?

Here we go again with Random Thursday...



I just have to ask the question... WHY?

Khenzington
I'jerria
Deireon
amor'Eonna
Stylee
Exeiliah
DaCoDa
Memory
Givonchy
Champion (somebody has high hopes for this kid!)
Xizallian (used to be from outer space?)

Must've been named after mommy watched a little too much Cartoon Network:

Jinky

Winner of the I guess they're hoping to do better the next time around award:

Tryial

Starve a Cold, Feed a Fever, Name a Baby

I've been down and out with the flu the last 3 days...so I'm kinda feeling half human today--enough to bring you WNTNYB- Sicko Edition

These are courtesy of an article I came across a few days ago via MSNBC and the Today show.

Fever Bender
Leper Priest
Cholera Priest
Rubella Graves
Typhus Black
Hysteria Johnson
Emma Royd
Kathryn E. Coli
Mumps Sykes

Spel Chek

For those of you who have been following this blog for awhile, you might notice that one of the things that drives me absolutely nuts is when mommees tri to git cutsiey and kreeativ with the name spellings. And then have the nerve to get mad and offended when someone butchers their child's name or misspells it.

For example. Today's list of Huked on Fonix offenders:

Lanykston
Hadliegh
Prencetin
CaiLlyn
Y'Marrie (I will bet $ this is either pronounced like Emory or ee-MAUR-ee)
KimberLee
Aksel
Me'arah
Uhllanna (this is either 'Alana' or 'Ayanna' depending on how you pronounce the double L)
d'Metrique (who are his siblings? d'Miles, d'Kilometers??)
Jaxxsen

smh. shrugs. goes back to reading Webster's dictionary. knows why we are falling behind other countries in education---we can't even spell our OWN names. sigh.

Celebrity names impersonated

I thought I'd change it up a little today.

I was thinking today about why artists, singers, actors etc. change their names.

Answer: Because somehow 50 Cent sounds so much better than Curtis Jackson (*side eye and sarcasm*).

So today I'm going to expose their gubment (yes I said gubment) names. And if the FBI, LAPD, Secret Service, IRS or Arizona State Police (that means YOU DMX) are reading, you didn't get any of this info from me.

Real names of Hip hop and R&B artists:

Ashanti Ashanti Shaquoya Douglas
Busta Rhymes Trevor Tahiem Smith
Chaka Khan Carole Yvette Marie Stevens
Flava Flav William Jonathan Drayton, Jr
Flo Rida Tramar Dillard
The Game Jayceon Terrell Taylor
Juvenile Terius Gray
Lupe Fiasco Wasalu Muhammad Jaco
Plies Algernod Lanier Washington
Remy Ma Reminisce Smith
Vivica Fox Vivica Anjanetta Fox

and the ass backwards award goes to:

Michelle Johnson aka Meshell Ndegeocello

the completely random flashback award goes to: Yourree Dell Harris but you may remember her better as:



Call me now! ROTFL

In honor of MLK Day and the Inauguration WNTNTB will be on a short hiatus... but I wanted to leave you with this...random abstracts from the class of 09

Kajmir
Koutoura
Casnova
Kevil
Jim'myrriah
Vienna
Pixie
Tuppence
Coleone
Diojanay
Knehemiah

and my new favorite word name...

Salinity

I'm crying on the inside. LOL. Have a great weekend.

As Seen on QVC

First, if you are looking for a unique name, don't choose Unique. It's ironic, but Unique is not, well, unique...and I think I've used that word/name enough times in 2 sentences. Anywho, aside from that one, I have recently come across a spate of names ending in the letters 'que'

I don't know about you, but adding those letters to what might otherwise be a halfway decent name immediately makes me think of the real imitation knock off jewelry they sell on QVC:



So I guess these would be real imitation children's names?

Zaque
JyUnique
Ebonique
Kajhanique
Dejanique
Mystique
Imunique
Unicque
Unequee
Zonique
Martinique (umm...this is a COUNTRY!)

smh...folks really need to quit

Creativity at its finest...

Here's my entry for today, but first an important UPDATE: A few entires back I posted up a story concerning a child named Adolph Hitler. Well, it seems young Adolph and his sister Aryan Nation were taken from their parents and put into foster care. Check it out HERE

And now on to today's names... no list-- just a funny name related video I came across on youtube:



I think (and I will have to take liberties with the spellings) it goes

Deonna
Deon Jr
Deonvay
Deontay
Demontay
Deondrus
and My'ana

Whew- falls on the floor in exhaustion

No words. None. ROTFL