Tales From the Open Mic Part 3

Haven't had one of these moments in awhile.

Was standing outside a venue last night after a mini fight broke out between a couple (nothing but drama...lol) and I'm talking to the bouncer and the host of another venue (who I'd never met until last night)...

Somehow we got to talking about our kids. The host says he has a 17 year old. The bouncer gives me a look and says "oh he started young--he started at 12"

I think he's joking so I ask the host how old he is. He says...

29

[insert pause. do the math in your head. make the same screw face I just did and then continue reading]

The host walks away for a second to check on one of the people from the fight and the bouncer turns to me and says "and you know what his name is?"

[wait for it...wait for it...]

Jesus

that's "Geez-us" btw not "Hey-seus"

*drops mic walks away*

Speaking in tongues...

Damn you Rickey Smiley...smh

"Paternity Test Tuesday"... smh

Today...

Today...smdh

Today... they had a couple who was way too f%^&$%# young to be getting paternity tests done. The mom was 14 (WTF????)

The grandmother (who by the way was only 31!!!!), her name was Sheba. Now the girl was supposedly named after the mom. I'm not entirely sure I am spelling this correctly, but her name was:

Shabalaquita

I promise you. I PROMISE YOU...I did not make that up. The hosts kept pronouncing it like Sha-ba-la-qwe-ta.

*blank stare*