Tales from the Open Mic

These are true stories that have happened to me within the past week...

Story #1:

Last week I went to a poetry spot and somehow (don't ask, because the truth is I don't know) the host started talking about bad baby names. I'm paraphrasing here...She said something to the effect of "I have a friend who is a pre-school teacher and she had this cute little girl in her class named Dia...I'm thinking Dia that's different but cute, my friend said that's not her name I just refuse to call her by her FULL name...which is... Chalmydia."

A girl in the audience spoke up and she said "you think that's bad, I work in a NICU and we just had a baby in there name G'noreah (pronounced like Je-nora)"

Story #2:

So last night I went to another open mic poetry reading. While I was standing outside this girl walks by with this little brown baby--I mean so cute I almost swore it was a doll. Absolutely precious little girl with fat cheeks in a little warm suit because it was kinda chilly...you know I had to ask...

Me: "What's her name?"

(I'm sorry I am spelling this by phonetics)

Girl: "O-be-di-ji-ah."

Me: "Say that again"

Girl: "O-be-di-ji-ah."

me thinking to self: wish I had not left my phone at home, feeling the need to blog this immediately.

Smh. And I'm done. Poor precious baby.