What NOT to Name Your Baby

Primary Colors?

2012-01-08T19:58:00.000-08:00

So we also have our first celebrity baby name of the year...

Beyonce and Jay-Z have named their new daughter

Blue Ivy

Um...jury's still out on this one. Thoughts?

So Many Jokes Here...

2012-01-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

I have NO WORDS...

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, 30, Arrested By Madison, Wisc. Police

Worst Celebrity Baby Names of 2011...

2011-12-29T22:10:00.000-08:00

Let's see if you agree with this year's picks... I know a few made the EJB list

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/best-worst-celebrity-baby-names-2011-212200578.html#more-id

What's Wrong With This Picture?

2011-11-27T06:29:00.000-08:00

So many many MANY things wrong with this story, aside from the horrible name choice... 13-Pound Baby Named 'Jihad' Born in Germany

Yeah Hitler was already banned so I guess they went with the next best option...

*facepalm*

I Say Facebook is the Devil But...

2011-11-26T11:29:00.001-08:00

So, I finally made a Facebook fan page for the best of the EJB files...

Scroll down and look to the right and make sure to "like" the new EJB FB page. Post up new names, comments and spread the word

Maury Moment

2011-11-19T12:51:00.000-08:00

So, I'm taking a quick break from a project and watching clips of Maury on YouTube (I LOVE technology) and I come across a paternity test segment (see link) where a girl is testing five men for her two kids...

And I see the child's name flash across the screen...

Inkenjarick

I <3 Maury. That is all.

Not Sure How I Feel About This...

2011-11-10T13:19:00.000-08:00

So Nia Long, (who I absolutely adore) had another baby boy, but his name is kinda making me feel some sorta way...I have a love hate relationship with it right now...

His name is...

Kez Sunday

Click here to see the whole story

Talk About Not Following the...

2011-11-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

Soccer Player Regrets Naming His Son "Trendy"

Why?

Aquaman Better Call Maury

2011-11-07T17:01:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine posted this on FB today:

"Waiting in line at BOA... I hear a girl scream at her son, "Sit down Aquariante!" Why couldn't I think of a name that creative??"

*backs away very slowly* *blank stare and all that*

Told You So...

2011-10-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

See...this is why people should THINK before they pick a NAME.

One tenth of parents regret the names they chose for their children

Click link for full story

Wow...just WOW!!!

2011-10-05T10:44:00.000-07:00

These are some of the WORST REAL names ever!! All courtesy of Someecards and Happyplace.com

Is That Where Your Parents Met?

2011-09-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Ok...

I hadn't seen/heard a good one in awhile, but how about Saturday night I went to a fast food place and as I was walking out I happened to look at my receipt (wishing now I would've shot a pic with my phone)... why was the cashier named... wait for it, wait for it...

Ikea

:/ epic fail.

The Devil's Spawn (Literally)

2011-07-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

New Zealand has banned the name "Lucifer" after not one but THREE sets of parents tried to name their kid:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/newsroom/name-013131260.html

WHY????????

Unfortunately named

2011-07-12T11:12:00.000-07:00

All courtesy of someecards.com and http://www.happyplace.com/3683/fagley-dork-man-has-worst-name-of-all-time

What do you think?

2011-07-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

Harper Seven.

That's the Beckham's newest addition-- any thoughts?

The Headline Says it All

2011-06-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

Ron Artest is petitioning to change his name to ‘Metta World Peace’

I'm going to sit right over here and not say another word

...and finally

2011-06-14T07:23:00.002-07:00

see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!

bwhahahahahahahahah!

Too Easy...

2011-06-14T07:23:00.001-07:00

see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!

Did Mickey or Daisy Bail Him Out?

2011-06-14T07:18:00.001-07:00

see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!

*snicker*

"Like" OMG!

2011-05-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

First someone names their kid Facebook, and now some Israeli couple named their kid "Like"

as in ...

Smdh. And Dislike. Here's the story link

http://mashable.com/2011/05/16/baby-like/

Strike Three

2011-05-09T14:53:00.000-07:00

This is the third weirdo celebrity baby name this week. Man, there must be something in the water.

So Alicia Silverstone...you may remember her from such films as Clueless where she was named after Cher (the singer)--well...ok...sigh...and... she named her son...

Bear Blu

What in the name of snuggle fabric fvckery is that?

Sigh!

Mariah's Scary Baby Names...

2011-05-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah I said it...

so Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon named the twins. Wait for it...wait for it...

Monroe Cannon (the girl, named after Marilyn Monroe). And Moroccan Scott Cannon (the boy named after the Moroccan room where her husband proposed).

So...Moroccan Monroe.

Say it three times fast..I dare you.

Hawaiian (Sucker) Punch

2011-05-03T18:09:00.000-07:00

Antonio Sabbato and his girlfriend chose this Hawaiian name as the middle name for their new son--

KAMAKANAALOHAMAIKALANI

...I love Hawaiian names, but c'mon son.

Contenders for the Worst Names in History

2011-04-12T11:09:00.000-07:00

Marijuana Pepsi Jackson is in this batch...you may remember her from a previous post.

However, my new favorite is this one (which I did in fact look up on Linkdn)

Here's the link to some more... via someecards.com

http://www.someecards.com/2011/04/11/fagley-dork-man-has-worst-name-of-all-time

Say What?

2011-03-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Where the hell is Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg ???

Watch this neat little video from yahoo...

Who Knew- World's Longest Words/ Names

No words!

2011-02-24T13:19:00.001-08:00

see more funny videos

Worst of 2010

2010-12-29T11:18:00.000-08:00

Worst celebrity baby names of 2010 (via babycenter.com)

Buddy Bear Maurice (Jamie Oliver & Juliette Norton)
Egypt Daoud (Alicia Keys & Kaseem Dean)
Cosima (Claudia Schiffer & Matthew Vaughn)
Axel (Will Ferrell & Viveca Paulin)
Krishna (Padma Lakshmi)
Gideon Scott (Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka)
Billie Beatrice (Eric Dane & Rebecca Gayheart)
Abel James (Amy Poehler & Will Arnett)
Vida (Matthew McConaughey & Camila Alves)
Nelson (Céline Dion & René Angélil)

The Five Names of Death--One Confirmed Kill

2010-11-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

Well as it turns out...

Abcde (pronounced Ab-si-dy) is actually a legit name. There were 32 girls born in 2009 who share it and 28 born in 2008.

1 down. 4 lives to go.

Awesomely Bad Politician Names

2010-11-18T11:28:00.001-08:00

Because why would you NOT vote for "Dick Sweatt"

Click here to see more freakishly bad politician names

What's Next? Cinnamon Roll?

2010-10-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

Pulled from a friend of mine's Facebook status:

"WOW...just met a lady that actually named her baby Bunbun. She said she named him that because he was cute at birth."

Epic FAIL. Parenting license REVOKED.

Denial is not just a river in...

2010-10-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

So Alicia Keys and Swizz beats had a boy.

His name according to usweekly.com is:

Egypy Daoud Dean

*crickets*

No comment

Who Knew...

2010-10-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

Via Yahoo!

A little video about most common first names (i.e. breakers of the Wonder Bread Rule).

There's an interesting little tidbit about last names too.

Who Knew: Most Common First Names

Tales From the Open Mic Part 3

2010-08-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

Haven't had one of these moments in awhile.

Was standing outside a venue last night after a mini fight broke out between a couple (nothing but drama...lol) and I'm talking to the bouncer and the host of another venue (who I'd never met until last night)...

Somehow we got to talking about our kids. The host says he has a 17 year old. The bouncer gives me a look and says "oh he started young--he started at 12"

I think he's joking so I ask the host how old he is. He says...

29

[insert pause. do the math in your head. make the same screw face I just did and then continue reading]

The host walks away for a second to check on one of the people from the fight and the bouncer turns to me and says "and you know what his name is?"

[wait for it...wait for it...]

Jesus

that's "Geez-us" btw not "Hey-seus"

*drops mic walks away*

Hey Hon, Can You Grab Me a Beer?

2010-07-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

Sure thing...

via failblog:

So Bad It's Awesome...

2010-07-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

I'll only preface this briefly and then you can bask in the awesomeness...

There's a story on yahoo this morning about a 6'9 junior college basketball player.

His REAL given name:

God's Gift Achiuwa

Click here for the story

And I Quote...

2010-06-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

Posted on FB by a friend of mine. Both of her daughters are having babies.

"Dear fb, she really likes the name jakyra but monte the 2nd it will be."

The other child is to be named Timmiyyah (which I think is pronounced like Tamia).

(yes E darling I am putting you on blast. Still love you though! Muah)

All Your Kids Are Named the SAME Thing

2010-05-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

Aidan, Kayden, Jayden and F%$@#ing Prosperity!

Priceless!

Speaking in tongues...

2010-05-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

Damn you Rickey Smiley...smh

"Paternity Test Tuesday"... smh

Today...

Today...smdh

Today... they had a couple who was way too f%^&$%# young to be getting paternity tests done. The mom was 14 (WTF????)

The grandmother (who by the way was only 31!!!!), her name was Sheba. Now the girl was supposedly named after the mom. I'm not entirely sure I am spelling this correctly, but her name was:

Shabalaquita

I promise you. I PROMISE YOU...I did not make that up. The hosts kept pronouncing it like Sha-ba-la-qwe-ta.

*blank stare*

You're Unique Just Like Everyone Else

2010-05-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

Editorial from yesterday's Washington Post

Your baby is unique, but her name isn't

preach to the choir!

Baby Name Day- changes and surprises

2010-05-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

Drumroll....here is the SSA TOP NAMES 2009

Boys:	1) Jacob	Girls:	1) Isabella
	2) Ethan		2) Emma
	3) Michael		3) Olivia
	4) Alexander		4) Sophia
	5) William		5) Ava
	6) Joshua		6) Emily
	7) Daniel		7) Madison
	8) Jayden		8) Abigail
	9) Noah		9) Chloe
	10)Anthony		10)Mia

In a shocker....Emily drops to #6 and Emma is overthrown for Isabella. On the boys side it's team Jacob for the win...lol

Uber appropriate or hilariously ironic?

2010-05-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Nigeria swore in a new president today.

His name--his real given name:

Goodluck Jonathan

I promise you I did not make this up.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article7118144.ece

By the way...Sunday the new SSA popular baby name list comes out. :)

Worst Celeb Baby Names

2010-04-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

Came across the short funny video about some of the worst celebrity baby names from last year:

More celeb baby names (and there are a few doozies in there that I missed...lol) can be found by clicking here .

I Can't Take You Seriously When Your Name Makes Me Hungry

2010-04-12T07:26:00.000-07:00

Dang it Steve Harvey... (gonna try and see if I can get audio for this, but probably not until tomorrow).

Heard on the radio this morning via the Steve Harvey morning show:

A girl calls in to comment on a regular segment they have called "Strawberry Letter"

Steve: What's your name?
Girl: Cinnamon.
[the hosts start laughing...and they can tell the jokes are coming]
Steve: Is that your real name?
Girl: Yes.
Steve: Where're you from. You from the country ain't you?
[the girl laughs and confirms she's from somewhere in Kentucky. The other hosts are trying not to laugh and the girl says something to the effect of "I've heard all the jokes" and not to mention she is a psychiatrist]
Steve: That had to be a country name. Ain't no city folks 'fin to name their kid Cinnamon. He 'gon rise to the top let's name hom Baking Powder. She's so sweet, let's name her Condensed Milk.

[at which point I started laughing so hard I nearly spit my coffee out]

Smh. And I thought about this... (catch the reference at 2:26. ROTFL)

We Put the Fan in Fanatic!

2010-04-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

A couple from Alabama who happen to be huge Alabama football fans, took their fanaticism to the next level by naming their son:

Crimson Tide Redd

Oh how I wish this was an April Fool's prank, but you can read the full article here

Roll Tide! *Face palm*

Join the "Club"

2010-03-29T14:08:00.000-07:00

So my brother calls me today...his new girl has a couple of kids. Yeah, why is one of them named...

Disney

Yeah you read that correctly. First name, not last. My response: Please for the love of Captain Crunch tell me the other child's name isn't Goofy. My brother says: you think that's bad, she also has twins and started to name them Mickey and Minnie.

And ironically I'll give you one guess as to where they live...

Florida.

Done.

SXSW

2010-03-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

This is a little bit of a divergence, but I couldn't resist. :)

So a lot of people have been talking about SXSW (South by Southwest)--if you're unfamiliar, it a huge music and movie festival--in the case of music they do a lot of showcasing of emerging and up and coming artists (actually at least two of the groups are folks I know of from performing). But how that relates to WNTNYB-- maaaaaaan, some of these band name are off the chain. Who thinks this stuff up??? Here are my TOP 10 band names from SXSW:

10. The Stationary Set -this could be a clever pun or a way of saying they write while sitting on the couch all day

9. Nervous Turkey

8. The Eh Team DJs- they're from Canada. Cute, very cute.

7. Landmine Marathon- wow...so many jokes here

6. MC Frontalot- really?...REALLY?

5. Cubic Zirconia- until you get discovered I guess that's all the bling you can afford?

4. Dikes of Holland- oh how I love double entendre

3. My Dad is Dead- and you named a band in his memory...how thoughtful

2. And So I Watch You From Afar--and so I have a restraining order

1. Abe Vigoda- this could possibly be the most awesome band name EVER

Honorable mentions to: Butterfly Explosion; Goons of Doom; The Mother Truckers; The Uglysuit and The Pharmacy

Write Your Own Joke

2010-03-12T08:46:00.001-08:00

They'll "love" him in prison

see more Epic Fails

March Madness 2010

2010-03-08T12:28:00.000-08:00

Ok... as you can guess I am a college basketball fan. Doesn't hurt that my alma mater is currently ranked #1 (that would be SYRACUSE. Go Orange!)

So in honor... This is the WNTNYB Sweet 16 edition. I've picked 16 of the best of the worst--baby names that is--from the cities where the top four ranked schools are (that would be Syracuse, Duke, Kansas and Kentucky). In this year's brackets we have:

Exevione
Alpha
Monyea
Bless Stariah
A'Miracle (aren't they ALL?)
Broox
Lamaj (which is Jamal spelled backwards)
Duanelee
Kuaitt
Moxy
Mercaidiez
Bron-Zeir
M'nyii (I am still at a loss as to how to pronounce this)
Huyland
Na'jhmiere
Mirak (which is Karim spelled backwards--I have my secret theory about this and the other one...they're twins btw, but I'll leave you to your own thoughts here)

Coach calls for a time out...lol

EJB Promo Video

2010-03-04T18:55:00.000-08:00

This is the first in a series of promotional videos for the EJB book:

The 5 Names of Death--Contest

2010-03-04T08:04:00.000-08:00

Forgive my old kung fu movie reference...lol

As I am starting to get feedback on the book, I'm noticing something. Whenever anyone has a name story there are 4 names that repeatedly come up. It's never "I know this person:"...but rather those I know someone who knows someone type of stories and I can't verify that these names actually exist... so... I open this up to anybody who can PROVE these people are real. Shoot, if I can get even one positive verification I will turn this into a full on contest.

#1. Orangello/Lemongello. Snopes debunked this, but this had to have originated somewhere and hence I think it's possible they exist

#2. Abcde (pronounced Ab-se-dee). I've heard this one a few times, googled it and can neither confirm nor deny that someone was that lazy and just ran down the alphabet.

#3. Female (pronounced fe-MAHL-lee). Depending on who tells the story the mom though the doctor named the baby or decided to be cute. Either way...smh.

#4. Shithead (pronounced shi-THEED). This might be one that is legit, but again can neither completely confirm nor deny, though there are many on the web who say they've witnessed this atrocity.

I would like proof that these people are real... by proof, I mean a legitimate source (news story etc.,) that has the name or, a yearbook picture...something of that nature.

Now in the post title notice I said FIVE names of death. This fifth one might be worth a prize if it exists... In earlier posts I've come across the following names: Manhattan, Bronx, Queens (with the 's'), Harlem (which I predicted jokingly, just days before I found it), Brooklyn, and Jersey.

What I am looking for to complete the pattern... is a kid named Staten Island

Let the game begin...

North of the Border

2010-02-25T10:56:00.001-08:00

While I'm preparing press info for the new book, I came across an article on names in Canada (specifically Alberta)... They just released statistics for babies born last year

They broke down a list of "unique" names (as in, only having appeared once last year)...Here are some of the more usual ones:

Crazyhorse
Alias
Lightning
Philopateer
Wrath
Yak
Iex
Eloquence
Fury
Poetic
Qhloe (seriously???)
Society
Xanet
Gallary

Science agrees with me...go figure

2010-02-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

I must post this because this is not only ironic, but well...you'll see.

So currently on the front page of Yahoo! 9via Live Science) is an article entitled
Parents Choosing More Unusual Baby Names Now

I'm thinking...I LITERALLY just wrote the book on this but ok...what's funny is, the article points out that giving children odd names is akin to narcissism.

So I had to add my two cents to the comment page of course and then a comment exchange caught my eye (I think someone in the conversation missed the point but again you'll see what I mean...) I've highlighted the key points...LMAO

XXXX wrote:

I think one reason people are choosing more unusual names is that they do not want their child to be one of many in a classroom sharing the same name. For example, Lily S. and Lily W. in the same class. People may also want their child's name to reflect their ancestral background. Also, we are exposed to far more names than any previous generation thanks to immigration and the media. What I do not understand are the people who give their child a popular name and change the spelling, as if that somehow makes them different. I feel sorry for the kids whos parents make up stupid names.

AND THEN DIRECTLY BELOW THAT

XXXX wrote:

Some names aren't unusual, they're just spelled differently. I named my daughter Aydrienne Alecx. My name is very common, and in a high school class of about 400 I had several girls in my class with the same first name. I wanted something unique for my daughter because nothing common interested me and my ex-husband. Common names are safe. Unique represents my personality. Nowadays, uncommon is the new common. My fiance and I have also picked unique names for our future children. I'm not picking "unusual" names for my benefit. I want my child to be unique. I believe in individualism. Why does everyone have to be the same? Why do I have to conform & name my children a common name like Mary or Robert? My name is Sarah & my fiance's name is Steven. I have several friends named Jenny. Sometimes common isn't always better!

*major eyeroll and facepalm* Extra points to whoever can tell me how many rules that name broke.

Your Honor...

2010-02-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

So, two full days in and the EJB book is already generating some funny names stories...

Let me start by saying I have some awesome supportive friends!!

This story comes via my friend AJ.

AJ is a motivational speaker and a member of Toastmasters. She ordered a copy of the book on the day it was released. As it happens she had to give a humor speech at her Toastmasters meeting so she structured it around the book.

She messaged me to say, not only did she win her competition, but here's what happened next...

Apparently one of her audience members laughed to the point of tears. He came up to her afterwards and told her that he was a law student. Ironically, he'd just had to sit through a trial where one of the participants had a rather "unusal" name...

It was so bad in fact the judge (who was apparently one of those old school southern types) actually had trouble calling this woman by her name. That's because her name was...(wait for it, wait for it...)

Clitoris

...and I'm done. ROTFL.

BIG Announcement!!!

2010-02-20T20:54:00.000-08:00

Well... after a lot of work...

EJB the book is now available in print and download

Click the link to view/order

It will be available through amazon.com within the next week or two.

Really?

2010-02-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

I had to laugh this morning.

Stuck in traffic I found myself flipping radio stations and landed on the Rickey Smiley morning show. I'm not usually a huge fun, but every week they do a segment called "Paternity Test Tuesdays," where they have a couple in the studio live to find out the results of a paternity test.

Today...

Today...smh

Today... they had a couple who were getting a paternity test for their 17 year old (???--yeah 17 ??? why now??? I don't know).

Well the mother's name was Beth. The father's name was Sam. And the girl's name...

Boquisha

[insert scooby doo noise here]

I thought I had misheard this, but the hosts started snickering...and then one of them asked first for the parents to spell it...and then if the name had any special significance.

Dad's answer: "well I was a big fan of Bo Jackson, so we just ran with it"

*head smack*

aaaaaaaaand I'm done.

PS. She wasn't his daughter

Lion-O...You Are NOT the Father

2010-02-12T08:53:00.000-08:00

The advantage of being snowed in for a week...you get to catch up on all the talk shows.

In particular I love Maury... because constant episodes about paternity testing means lots of babies and lots of babies means lots of weird baby names.

In this case it wasn't a paternity test, but a guest who was sure her sister was cheating with her boyfriend or some such mess. I probably would've tuned it out except her name was...

Cheetara

You may be thinking to yourself...hmmm... that name sounds vaguely familiar.

*Face palm*

Thundercats! Thundercats! Thundercats...hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Abstinence or Sex Ed?

2010-02-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

No comment. Bwahahahahahahahah!

I'll Take You...Shopping?

2010-02-01T17:25:00.000-08:00

I forgot about this one until someone reminded me on Facebook...

The Staple Singers...the patriarch of the group was Roebuck "Pops" Staple. What most people don't know is he had a twin who's name is... Sears

At Least They're Not Named ESPN...

2010-01-29T13:31:00.000-08:00

Lately I've come across a spate of professional and soon to be professional athletes with some funky names Coco Crisp who plays Major League baseball; Miroslav Satan, an NHL player and Dick Trickle, NASCAR driver (I'll leave you to write your own jokes on that one...lol).

Nowhere though have I found a better batch of wacky names however than college sports...sigh, here we go...

Gelo Orange, who played for Wake Forest
Dusty Rust of Virginia Tech
Foxy Foxworth of South Carolina

and then the brotherhood(s) of jacked up names:

Scientific Mapp and his brother Majestic Mapp who played for FAMU and Virginia respectively
Immaculate-Perfection Harris and his brother Supreme Justice (IP played for Georgia Tech)

and my favorite...

a high school athlete and top recruit out of Florida named...

Yourhighness Morgan.

Yourhighness also according to an article I read (from the Orlando Sentinel I believe), has a brother named Handsome and cousins named Prince and Gorgeous.

all they need now is two kids named Guten and Captain...ROTFL.

Possibly the Worst Worst Name EVER!

2010-01-26T15:04:00.000-08:00

This is an actual birth announcement page from one of the Sister's of Levenworth Hospitals which I think is in Kansas. I came across it by accident on another blog and took a screen shot...because I'm quite sure if you didn't see it you might not believe it.

Past that, I won't even comment...

All the Cool Kids Are Doing it Part IV

2010-01-26T08:54:00.000-08:00

I can't help it... every time I get back to work on the book somehow I find myself back at the nameberry site...and it never fails I find some travestry splashed across the front page that perpetrates itself as the next "cool kid" name.

Sigh... for the love of Captain Crunch, please tell me none of these are trending.

Cello
Kinga
Gogol (anagram this and it's almost Google)
Nacho (side eye...really??)
Perpetua (now I looked this one up and discovered it's a Christian Saint, but that doesn't make the name any more likeable because I'm trying to figure out what her nickname would be)
Vionenet
Ring (you know if you're going to pick a word name...sigh...)
Fig
Utah
Quebec

Empire State of Mind?

2010-01-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

It had to happen sometime...

There's an annoying trend in kids named Brooklyn. Ashley Simpson named her kid Bronx. I've come across a child name Harlem... sigh...

And now hailing from the great state of Utah (yeah UTAH!!???!!!)

The day I find a child named Staten Island I am officially DONE.

Why I Advocate Rule #8

2010-01-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

So I started back to graduate school today.

First order of business orientation where of course in true first day of school fashion they made us slap on the requisite "Hi my name is" blue name tag.
I didn't have time to write something smart ass on mine since I was running late so I was obliged to just go with my given name.

In any case, during the mixer I played the back (as I usually do in untested social situations)... and after a glass of wine or two decided to make a game of observing the name tags of my classmates...

Now allow me to pause...I don't believe I have this rule posted, but RULE #8--I strongly strongly advocate NOT giving kids overly generic (or what I call "wonder bread") names because then you're more apt to find yourself in a situation like I did tonight.

Unpause.

In a group of about 30-40 people, there were 2 Candaces, 4 Lauras, 3 Jens or Jennifers and a couple of Tiffanys. I almost felt like I was in the department of redundancy department. LOL

What are the odds? But my two favorite names of the evening...

I met a girl named Artemis which I actully think is an awesome name...I've just never seen before.

And then there was Southerlyn

Spelled just like I typed it. I thought to myself that's unusual. Not quite sure how I feel about it though. Hmmmm...

I'll take your opinions on that one.

New Year's Resolution...Accept No Imitations

2009-12-31T18:09:00.000-08:00

see more Epic Fails

Happy New Year everyone!

Only in Vegas...a WNTNYB Christmas Gift

2009-12-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

Oh I wish I'd had my camera with me...so I'm in Vegas with the family for the holidays. I took my daughter to get some hot chocolate earlier this afternoon. Inside the coffee shop they had a whole wall of holiday pictures colored by kids. My daughter of course ran over to look and then I saw them...all the kids had written their names on the pics and two names that immediately caught my attention...

Zen and Ubiquity

I'll admit while not a favorite word name choice of mine, I've seen the first one before. The second one just confuzzled me...I don't know whether to shake mom's hand, shake my head or kick her in the knee caps for that one.

u⋅biq⋅ui⋅ty

[yoo-bik-wi-tee]
-noun

1.	the state or capacity of being everywhere, esp. at the same time; omnipresence: the ubiquity of magical beliefs.

2.	(initial capital letter) Theology. the omnipresence of God or Christ.

Name Failures

2009-12-16T11:51:00.000-08:00

My latest name fail finds from failblog.org

see more Epic Fails

see more Epic Fails

see more Epic Fails

I predict the new hot name will be Nostradamus

2009-12-14T18:36:00.001-08:00

Ok...this is killing me...

So the name gurus Satran and Rosenkrantz have decided that now they can tell the future. They have predicted the top baby names of 2019

Sigh...

Their top picks include:

Ava, Amelia, Violet, Ruby and Ella for girls and Ethan, Aidan, Milo, Cash and River

The thing is...um...if I am not mistaken all of these names are currently in the top 100-200 most popular...so um... yeah. 10 years from now, Cash will be in the top 10. Given the current state of the economy, nothing would surprise me and suppose numbers 2, 3 and 4 will be Money, Recession (for girls) and Forclosure.

Why I Busted Out Laughing...at the Library

2009-12-06T13:02:00.001-08:00

I went by the public library today to research some of the names that are going in to the WNTNYB book.

I came across a few pretty good books. One source book in particular had a lot of really good names in it...I couldn't even complain until I came across this one:

Murgatroyd

If you know anything about me...I have a crazy frame of reference for things. I saw the name and immediately---thought of the following song... and busted out laughing in the middle of the library. Shhhh! ROTFL

For those unfamiliar with the song fast forward to about 3:11 and pay attention to the lyrics. SMH

Utah...

2009-12-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

Utah Baby Namer has been around for awhile and I never fail to find some amazingingly hideous baby names. Kudos to them!

I love this site, because nothing screams "I'm a Mormon" like naming your child any of the following:

Allora LaLovi
Artax
Astrolena
AureJudd
Azer Baloo
Brighamena
Budge
Castle
Chevrolette
Confederat America
Daxson Ekewaka
Denim Levi
Friends Forsaken
Helamans Warrior
Hereditary
Honey Baretta
Mint
Perpegillion
Spoon
Thankful Flood
Welcome Exile
Zaragrunudgeyon

All the Cool Kids Are Doing It Part III

2009-11-19T13:39:00.001-08:00

What I should've titled this post is "Yet ONE MORE reason why I really need to hurry up and get the WNTNYB book FINISHED"

Once again... these two gurus of baby names have managed to smash together some conglomerate of names that are a certified mess and call them "cool"

SMH.

Really?

Please I beg you...make it stop.

Hyman
Sharpay (so I'm told this was a character in High School Musical. It's also with a slight variation in spelling...a breed of DOG!!!!)
Drusilla (this is the evil step-sister from Cinderella...um...NO)
Bjergen
Turtle
Hilaria (yes, it made me LAUGH)
Frost
Arbor
Curry
Afternoon (for REAL???)
Buff
Zaddock (sounds like exotic fish)
Fee
Madrigal
Opera

and my new favorite horror (and I will BET the .38 in my bank account--don't judge...lol, that at least one of you thinks of the EXACT same thing I did...)

Brunhilda

Finally...Book Version of WNTNYB?

2009-11-19T07:25:00.000-08:00

I'm going to post a new list today, but I wanted to announce here...drumroll please

After numerous requests, reminders, and butt kicking from a few friends...

I'm taking WNTNYB and I'm turning it into a book.

That's right!

The text is done for the most part. I'm pulling some of my favorite blog posts, revamping the name lists and getting it all ready to go...in theory by the end of the year. I figure I've been sitting on it long enough, I've had the blog for just over a year and quite frankly I'm tired of getting yelled at about it. LOL. It's taken me a ton of research but I think I'm finally ready...

Tales From the Open Mic Part 2

2009-10-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

I'm going to post a full list today, but I got yet another interesting name from a poetry spot...

A poet was doing a piece about childhood crushes and mentioned a girl by the name of ...

April January

Yes, that is her actual first and last name. Trust me we all asked. LOL. Actually, the irony is there are 9 months between April and January, but I digress.

So April January wherever you are, there is a poet who remembers you fondly.

Tales from the Open Mic

2009-10-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

These are true stories that have happened to me within the past week...

Story #1:

Last week I went to a poetry spot and somehow (don't ask, because the truth is I don't know) the host started talking about bad baby names. I'm paraphrasing here...She said something to the effect of "I have a friend who is a pre-school teacher and she had this cute little girl in her class named Dia...I'm thinking Dia that's different but cute, my friend said that's not her name I just refuse to call her by her FULL name...which is... Chalmydia."

A girl in the audience spoke up and she said "you think that's bad, I work in a NICU and we just had a baby in there name G'noreah (pronounced like Je-nora)"

Story #2:

So last night I went to another open mic poetry reading. While I was standing outside this girl walks by with this little brown baby--I mean so cute I almost swore it was a doll. Absolutely precious little girl with fat cheeks in a little warm suit because it was kinda chilly...you know I had to ask...

Me: "What's her name?"

(I'm sorry I am spelling this by phonetics)

Girl: "O-be-di-ji-ah."

Me: "Say that again"

Girl: "O-be-di-ji-ah."

me thinking to self: wish I had not left my phone at home, feeling the need to blog this immediately.

Smh. And I'm done. Poor precious baby.

All The Cool Kids Are Doing It...Part II

2009-10-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

I couldn't resist...here are some more "supposedly cool" baby names from the "experts." SMH...

Elmo
Eilidh
Frost
Topaz
Danube
Severina
Plum
Varinia
Vermillion (!!!...!!!...!!!...??????????????)
Constant
Laragh (I believe this to be a horrible misconglomeration that's pronounced like "Laura")
Benajah (blank stare...)
Polexia (a disease which causes people to involuntarily vomit when you tell them your child's name)

All the Cool Kids Are Doing It...

2009-10-06T08:50:00.000-07:00

The gurus of baby names are Satran & Rosenkrantz. They've written 10 books and collected thousands of names. Every so often I see them cited in baby name blogs hyping the latest in name trends.
...
Just today as I was scanning, I came across their list of "cool" baby names.

Um...Perhaps I missed the memo, but if this is what constitues "cool" ...

Well, [insert look of complete confuzzlement] I won't commentary I'll just let you decide. Here's a small sample of names that made their "cool" list:

Zinc
Romola
Cayenne
Henna
Currier
Phynley
Primus
Feather
Azuba
Beech
Prairie
Fyodor
Banjo
Huckleberry
Quadeisha
Tulsa
Picabia
Remember
Amsterdam
Django

I'll be over at the nerd table if anyone needs me.

WNTNYB--the Zodiac Edition

2009-09-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

Ok... so my birthday just passed. And in honor of that today's post will honor...well let's just call them parents who are really into astrology...lmao

August (born in December)

Fortune

Gemini (who is a Libra born in Oct.)--actually I've seen this more than once

Mercury

Januari

December

Taurus
Solstice

Virgo

and last but not least...

September (born in august)

I Feel Like a Bobble Head

2009-09-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I find names that just make me shake my head. There's just no other appropriate reaction. I do it so much now I'm beginning to feel like a bobble head.

Some of my more recent SMH finds:

Edhwyn
Justevious
Innocense
Yahyah
Ny'zyere
Nye'jaiah (no relation to the above)
Jae'Len
Murryea (I'm assuming this is a variation or Mariah)
Lileaunna

Honoree

Knathaniel

Mozeak
Monserrat
Jerushamah

and two that seem destined to meet someday...

Fire and Diesal

shakes head sadly and walks away

Sexual Inuendo

2009-09-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

So WNTNYB is back. After a long summer break. Whew!

More madness, more names and some surprise announcements to come. For now...today's installment.

Bad bad VERY bad and unfortunate name combinations (courtesy of Failblog)Say each out loud for full appreciation...lol

Contestant #1 Myke Hawke

Contestant #2 Jack Goff

Contestant #3 Mike Litoris

Contestant #4 Willie Stroker

And last but not least Contestant #5 meet real estate broker Gaye Males

Wow...so does he speak wookie?

2009-09-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

The official return of WNTNYB was going to be tomorrow, but I saw this just today and just had to share...

a gentlemen in Norway has officially changed his name to

Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov

According to the article...
Julius is an homage to the famous chimp at the Kristiansand Zoo
'Arn' is a Swedish knight movie
Elessar and Gimli are from 'Lord of the Rings'
'MacGyver', just the greatest Richard Dean Anderson show ever!
'Highlander' could refer to either the movie or TV show
Chewbacka (aka Chewbacca) is from 'Star Wars'

and that makes this officially the name of a man who will probably never get laid again. The link for the full article is below

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/11/julius-andreas-gimli-arn_n_284276.html?alacarte=1

Announcement

2009-08-17T12:35:00.001-07:00

WNTNYB was on summer hiatus while I stacked up on new names and did some work...more horrible names to come. I promise. ;)

Half Baked Parents

2009-05-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

SMH...

So.... Parent of the year award goes to...

A couple in Milwaukee...who, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (courtesy of mediatakeout.com) named their child...

Marijuana Pepsi Jackson

Sooo...

...

...

the jokes here pretty much write themselves. Good night folks!

BABY NAME DAY!!!

2009-05-08T08:49:00.001-07:00

Today is the day.

Every year just before Mother's Day, the Social Security Administration releases their top baby name list. And guess what? Emily got bumped out of the #1 spot after 12 years!!!

Drumroll please... Top Baby Names for 2008

Some newcomers that also cracked the top 1,000 list according to yahoo! are:

Isla (623), Mareli (718), Milagros (731), Dayami (750) and Nylah (821).

Aaden (343), Chace (655), Marley (764) Kash (779) and Kymani (836). Beckham debuted at 893

On a special note: Happy Mother's Day to all!!!!

Any Town, USA

2009-04-25T18:41:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. If you live in Pleasantville perhaps.

But what if you lived in say Ubly, Michigan or Kickapoo, Texas

I once met someone from the town of Willacoochee, GA and I remember driving through death valley past a town in California called Zyxzz (don't ask me how to pronounce that...lol). Apparently babies aren't the only ones subjected to odd names...so make sure to stop and take a picture the next time you happen to be driving through...

Ah Gwah Ching, MN
Bitahochee, AZ
Bo Bo, IN
Cartoogechaye, NC
Chillicothe, OH (this is where my family is from...lol)
Choccolocco, AL
Ho Ho Kus, NJ
Spreckles, CA
Tonganoxie, KS
Sautee Nacoochee, GA
Zelienople, PA
Pejepscot, ME
Kwigillingok, AK

And what do YOU do for a living?

2009-04-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

My name is Danielle Reed and I'm a writer...ironic isn't it...maybe funnier or a shade more fitting if I'd have become a librarian perhaps? D. Reed--Librarian. LOL. I mean I do look the part, with the glasses and all...

What if your name were Hertz or Payne...would it then be fitting to become say accident lawyers or chiropractors perhaps?

I came across an artcle today in the New York Daily News concerning people who have names befittting their professions. For instance Summer Rayne Oakes who happens to be...an environmentalist or Zoe Hamburger who is an account manager for...McDonald's. Click the link to see the entire article.

Facebook vs Batman

2009-04-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

Yet another reason why you should watch what you name your kids...

Most of us who are tech savvy use some sort of social networking site to keep up with people. Well if you have an, ahem, unusual name you can forget being "social" at least on Facebook, without a fight.

According to a recent article in the Washington Post people who are stuck with funky first and/or last names such as Batman or Yoda have had their accounts rejected by Facebook. Apparently certain names are flagged so that spammers can't make up FB pages.

Facebook is not intuitive? Go figure!

How a Techno-Geek Names a Baby

2009-04-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

For all you technology geeks/parents to be...

As if the slog of baby name blogs (WNTNYB not withstanding), mommy message boards, twitter, facebook and ubiquitous baby namer sites were not bad enough, back in February a new iPhone application was developed called "Name Shake"

I watched the demo video (available on the link above). Apparently, how Name Shake works is, a screen which resembles a casino slot machine randomly spins and comes up with a name by sex, country of origin and letter of the alphabet. You can lock any or all of these categories so that for instance you only see French girls' names that start with the letter Q. There are something like 19,000 names in the database that powers the app. It allows you to save your favorites, gives you the meaning of the name and a pronounciation key and you can email your list of favs to your friends and family.

I don't know about you guys, but I don't know how much I want to leave the naming of my children to an iPhone. Um...yeah, call me old fashioned. Especially when I was watching the demo and saw names like:

Badru
Sobeslava
Beitiris

Yeah well it was a good idea... in theory. Where does it end people? Where does it end? Oh the humanity! Smh

Pronounce this name...

2009-04-08T20:21:00.000-07:00

see more pwn and owned pictures

One more reason why I love Failblog. ROTFL

March Madness

2009-04-01T14:32:00.001-07:00

In my best Dick Vital--It's March Madness BABY!

Ok so I know it is officially April, but here are today's hot picks...

The Sweet 16--- WNTNYB edition. All of the children listed below were born in March.

Sjalesia
Geonnuh
A'son ( lemme guess he was a BOY)
Na'King
Banayeasha (officially confuzzled)
Empuris
Kidus
Cleveland (who was born in Cincinnati)
Aries (surprisingly enough he actually IS an Aries)
Zeon
To'Liek
Laronjae
Praysia
Zoiarn
Raekwon (Wu-Tang! Wu-Tang!)
Devaneer

And my official March Madness bad baby name championship pick...

So'Fine

UPDATE: M.I.A

2009-03-25T14:10:00.000-07:00

So earlier I posted that M.I.A did not in fact name her son Ickett.

In fact her son's actual name is as reported on TMZ...

Ikhyd

Oh yeah 'cause that's so much better than we previously thought. *Side eye*

May the Force Be With You

2009-03-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

I officially love failblog...

It's so bouncy and shiny...

2009-03-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

Charlie Sheen and his new wife Brooke Mueller had twins boys last week...

It's not the names so much that are bad...but rather the combination. The boys are named Max and Bob

which again...not so bad, until you add the Sheen

then they become Max Sheen and Bob Sheen...

Is it just me, or do you suddenly envision hair care products.

In my best announcer voice: For beautiful, long, silky hair try Panteen Max Sheen and for shorter sleeker looks new Bob Sheen

LMAO. I'm done, time to go wash my hair

Overheard in DC...

2009-03-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

There is this great website called DCist that I check out at least weekly. It's basically about all things DC...think, your local online version of the City Paper or the equivalent.

Anyway, they run a column every week called "Overhead in DC" (just FYI, they also do versions of this for other cities such as NYC and LA). Overheard in DC is collection of the stupid things people have literally overheard...I'll admit I've even submitted a few gems. This past week's Overheard was just priceless so I've copied it here:

People's names can be pretty interesting: they can be traditional, they can have some deep meaning, or maybe they're just spelled a certain way to be different. Names can follow trends (how many Jaydens did you know 10 years ago?) or can fade away (Elmer or Agnes?) And there's all those funny names, like Richard Head. But sometimes, they're just terrible.

Overheard of the Week

Riding the Green line between Gallery Place and L'Enfant:

30-ish mother to her two children bouncing all over the place: "Perry Ellis and Elizabeth Claiborne! You two sit down and shut up right now!"

Check out more of last week's Overheard

Rhymes with...

2009-03-06T12:52:00.000-08:00

OMG, the celebrity baby names...I want to smack myself upside the head like I need a V-8

This week I have been hit with the triple whammy.

First up Matthew Settle from the tv show 'Gossip Girl' and his wife had a baby girl who they named...

Aven

Next up, model Niki Taylor who also gave birth to a baby girl chose...

Ciel

And last but not least M.I.A. last seen performing at the Grammy Awards ---on her due date no less, has named her son...

Ickett

Rhymes with the sound you're about to hear right now while you ponder what they were thinking...

*crickets*

UPDATE: Contrary to reports M.I.A did NOT name her son Ickett. **Cue thunderous applause**

(Un)cool Britannia

2009-03-04T14:38:00.001-08:00

Here's one from you guys...courtesy of K.

It's nice to know Americans aren't the only ones who come up with silly monkiers.

And they say the British have no sense of humor...

Pearl Button
Jo King
Barry Cade
Carrie Oakey
Priti Manek
Tim Burr
Terry Bull
Paige Turner
Mary Christmas
Anna Sasin

Check out more from our neighbors across the pond in BBC News

God save the queen!

Why?

2009-02-26T14:45:00.000-08:00

Here we go again with Random Thursday...

I just have to ask the question... WHY?

Khenzington
I'jerria
Deireon
amor'Eonna
Stylee
Exeiliah
DaCoDa
Memory
Givonchy
Champion (somebody has high hopes for this kid!)
Xizallian (used to be from outer space?)

Must've been named after mommy watched a little too much Cartoon Network:

Jinky

Winner of the I guess they're hoping to do better the next time around award:

Tryial

Mardi Gras

2009-02-24T11:09:00.000-08:00

Today marks the tail end of Mardi Gras.

I can't be there. :( So instead I bring you bad bad names related to all that is the gluttony and pagentry of the Big Easy.

Bad first/last combos:

Lent Church
Tuesday Victory
Tuesday Green
Mardi Daume
Orleans Boline
Carnival P. Jones

Just say "N.O.":

Tushunka
Casio
Sunsarai
Shadedrea
Lea'Myrah
Colonel

Maybe they were in New Orleans in spirit:

Krewe
Cru
Crew
Frencheski
Queen Anyza
Tuezdae
Roy'al
Magic
Ryot
Chaotic

and...

Louisianna

No disrespect to the dead but...

2009-02-19T19:04:00.000-08:00

Just so you know that this name is not urban legend...

Cannon, Acquanetta*

Family-Placed Death Notice

CANNON, Acquanetta Funeral service for Ms. Acquanetta D. Cannon will be held on Friday, February 20, 2009 at XXXXX Funeral Home at 1:00 PM. 404-XXX-XXXX

Published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on 2/19/2009

Just in case you need a reminder of why this is funny...

+
1980s
equals

Thanks Malika for sending me this one.

Starve a Cold, Feed a Fever, Name a Baby

2009-02-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

I've been down and out with the flu the last 3 days...so I'm kinda feeling half human today--enough to bring you WNTNYB- Sicko Edition

These are courtesy of an article I came across a few days ago via MSNBC and the Today show.

Fever Bender
Leper Priest
Cholera Priest
Rubella Graves
Typhus Black
Hysteria Johnson
Emma Royd
Kathryn E. Coli
Mumps Sykes

WNTNTB- Friday the 13th Edition

2009-02-13T14:07:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Friday the 13th Edition of what NOT to Name Your Baby.

Usually it's a great day for me...not so lucky for the people walking around with names like:

Lucky Day
Thirteen Foster
Friday Anderson
Talisman T. Hawkins
Tarot Peterson

I've also recently come across kids named:

Clover
Star
Mystic
Trinity
Penny
Amulet

And just in case you ever wondered how they could keep making Friday the 13th movies... the real Jason Voorhees lives the states of CA, KS, NC, PA, WV, FL, KY and OH

WNTNYB- Valentine's Day Edition

2009-02-12T07:50:00.000-08:00

I decided to do this a bit early because tomorrow I am doing a post in honor of Friday the 13th

Today's feature presentation... people who have the misfortune of having not only been shot in the behind by an angry winged midget, but to have live with probably being teased every year about this time. Here's a Valentine for them*

*note names with first/last combinations were found via anncestry.com

Valentine Love
Valentine Day
Valentine Card
Cupid Hartman
Cupid Hunter
Cupid Kick
Cupid Summons
Heart H. Flower
Diamond Ring

and others I have come across since I started this project:

February
Candy
Lovejoat
Blue Moon
Casanova
La'Pleasure
Mi'Amour
RoweMance
Passion
Diamyn
Diamond (too many to count)
Flower
Aphrodite
Romeo

and my favorite... I once worked as a pre-school teacher. In one of my classes I had a really cute little girl who's name was:

Mylove