Monday, December 22, 2008

And how exactly do you sign the cards....

WNTNTB will be on hiatus until the new year. New names will be stacked in the arsenal and ready to kick off 2009. Until then here are some of my favorite recent "weird name" articles.

Swedish couple fights to name their baby Metallica,2933,263700,00.html

Judge makes child a ward of the court to change her name from Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii

The real Dow and Indiana Jones

And then... the child with 25 middle names

Friday, December 19, 2008

50% off- Today Only

Last minute holiday shopping and bargain basement markdown names. Ah, I love December.

Here's today blue light specials:

Tuesdy (not a was spelled with no 'a')
Sundae (and if her brother's name is Whipped Cream I'm done!)
Trill (so many jokes are coming...)
Ly'Rique (wtf???)
Brax (not Braxton, just Brax like they were just too lazy to spell it
Trentnidy (
Vanity (I'ma sex shooter/shooting love in you de de de/de de de deeeeee. MY bad!)
Hennessy (so ghetto fab)
and this catastrophe:

side commentary: Neveah (which is Heaven spelled backwards) is a name which I am increasing starting to dislike because it is becoming waaaay too trendy for it's own good. The novelty has worn off. So to take an already too trendy name and try to spell it creatively creates an ill fated disaster waiting to happen as with the above. *Smdh* Huge sigh. Eyes rolling. Smacking forehead.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Well, mommy had a craving for... let me explain this one. I want to say this can't be this child's real name. Benefit of the doubt is that the parents wrote down a nickname on the card they give you to fill out when the baby gets his/her picture taken--because no parent in their right mind could possibly think this was a great name for a girl. However---if I am wrong, and I very well could be...

See for yourself... *smh*. Click on it to get a better look.

Yes... it's Pumpkin Pie.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Everything is Bigger in Texas

Well, I already picked on Georgia, so today is my ode to the great state of Texas. These are oddly named children born in the lone star state

Boston (um...ok)
Jaxxsen (he'll have to lap dance to make enough to add that extra X to his name)
Ga'Zelle (def: an animal, usually found in Africa and hunted by lions for food)
Symphony (actually...I kind of like this one, I've just never seen it used as a name before hence why it made the list)
Beyonce (no comment)
Alizey (the liquor was kickin in when they picked the name)
Tatorey (insert your own jokes and one liners here)
Riot (wtf????)
Evili (it's just cutting it too close to Evil)
Fester (again wtf???? the only thing that would've made this my best find ever was if their last name had been Adams)

and my new Texas favorite:

Azriel the parents' defense this is a legitimate Jewish name, HOWEVER maybe it's me, but it will always make me think of Gargamel's cat on the Smurfs--it's not quite spelled the same, but...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I Can't Imagine What the Invitations Would Say...

Wow. My co-worker was nice enough to send me this. This isn't so much a bad baby name story as it is just confusingly ironic.

The gist of the story is ShopRite grocery store refused to make a cake for a 3 year old's birthday party because... wait for it, wait for it... the child's name is Adolf Hitler.

Here's the link:

Oh, btw their other child is named Aryan Nation

I. am. at. a. total. loss. for. words.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Stocking Stuffers

We're all in the spirit of Christmas shopping and bargain no category today. Today's list is just recent random finds--or better yet, why don't we just call these stocking stuffers

Harlem (did I or did I NOT talk this name up like 3 blogs ago??? LMAO)

Gemini (who btw is a Libra)
Xaxier (I don't know how to pronounce it, I won't try, don't ask)

Prince Exzodus (what did we say about random X's and Z's? did we learn NOTHING last week)
Sisco (insert random "Thong Song" joke here--P.S. Cisco-spelled as so and as seen in the photo is also an alcoholic beverage)

J-Z (that is sooooo NOT a typo)
Atreyu (does anyone besides me remember "The Neverending Story"?)

and today's winner of the "I hope your name does not set the tone for you future" award:


Friday, December 12, 2008

Spare parts

I typically update this blog during the weekdays so I have time to research, but this just fell in my lap...

So, I was on my way home yesterday and I hear on the radio that (singer) Usher and his wife had a new baby boy. Their last son (born a year ago) is named...Usher Raymond the V. So I was kinda curious to know what the name would be...would he pull a George Foreman and go with Usher the VI? Ah, no so luck. The newest edition to the weird celeb baby roster is...

Naviyd Ely

Smh. Sigh.

Now Ely is not so bad...but Naviyd is a new one on me. Definitely made up, probably from the spare parts of other names they had on their list. I imagine the conversation going something like:

TF: If it's a girl how about Navy.
UR: Ok weird, but I like it, how about we go with David for a boy.
TF: Kinda boring but ok.
UR: Wait! We're celebrities why not follow the trend of coming up with some off the wall name that no one can pronounce and no one's ever heard of.
TF: Ok what do you suggest?
UR: Hmmm...

and the rest is history.

Here's the article from US Magazine

It's funnier when you see it in context...

So I found this name's not quite as bad as some of the other ones, but it tickled me.
Aside from being a tad bit what we call "country," you have to watch the following video for context and you'll see why I found it funny:

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Ah the good old days...and the holidays

So I was poking around for names today and came across this video. Earlier this year there was a great book called "Bad Baby Names." The authors did an interview on one of the morning shows. Here's the clip:

Inspired by this and in honor of the holiday season... I did a quick seach of for some quirky holiday related names.

Wreath Sellers
Candy Cane

Mistletoe Soldier
Holiday Coester

Holiday Holiday
North Pole
Sister Mary Nativity
Blitzen A Giannopulos
Hanukkah Walker
Snow Day
December Lewis
New Year
Santa Claus
Christmas Eve
Christmas Day

and of course several people named...

Merry Christmas

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Brought to You By the Letters XY and Z

XY and Z are easliy the 3 most confusing letters of the alphabet. Because, placed in ANY word they instantly causes confusion concerning spelling and pronounciation...not to mention there are few vowel combinations that work with those particular X and Z.

So why then may I ask do some parents feel the need to sprinkle X's so liberally into a child's name that if you removed all the other letters they become close to porn status.

See for yourself...

( 76 points in Scrabble)/Iaexavier
(must be related to Xzavious)

Yquivius (Who’s his little brother? Wachovia?)

Winner of the eXceptionally confusion combination of letters award:


Winner of the X factor award for outstanding achievement using one letter:

Xaylor Xayden Xeray

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

WTF??? Are You Serious????

OK... I came across a photo of this name on flickr. I thought perhaps it was a photoshop job, but alas no!

No combination of names, nicknames or variations thereof are going to make this any less painless for this kid.

Here's the actual link to the birth announcement posted in the Spokesman Review (WA state):

But um, I'm just gonna let the announcement speak for itself:

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Huked on Fonix Wurks Foar Mi

From the text message generation comes the ever annoying trend of purposely "misspelling" names...

Now, before you get your knickers in a bunch, I'm not talking about minor variations i.e. Eric/Erik or John/Jon...

I'm talking about adding so many extra letters and syllables that the child's name begins to resemble the Soul Train scamble board. Let me just give you who think this trend is cute, a quick lesson in the English language, certain letters do not make a natural sound when forcibly smushed together--i.e X and J, hence they should NOT be combined to try to make an otherwise normal sounding name "look" different or exotic...

For example...

Ayrikka (Erica)
Daisja (Deja)
Cerenitee/Sirrenitie (Serenity)
Aun'dreyah (Andrea)
Sacoiya/Sikoya (as if Sequoia wasn't hard enough for most people to spell)
Nah'Diyaa (Nadia)
(can I buy a vowel?)
Kneah (Nia)

And the winner of the your name will ALWAYS be flagged when you do spell check award:

Vyquetoriya (Victoria)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Someday you'll have your 15 minutes...

Last post it was the NFL, today like papparazzi on a mission I'm targeting celebrities...well at least bad celebrity baby names. Unlike the judges in the OJ trial, I will not let their celebrity status get them off the hook for these egregious crimes against their offspring. Oranges and Apples are one thing, but some of these folks have taken the word celebrity to a whole new level...

Well look at it like this, they're rich, so at least their kids can afford the years of therapy it will take to undo the damage.

Jermajesty son of Jermaine Jackson
Denim Cole and Diezel Ky sons of singer Toni Braxton (jeans and gas…what were you thinking?)
Atlanta Noo child of John Taylor of Duran Duran
Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee actor Jason Lee of My Name is Earl
Speck Wildhorse singer, John Mellencamp
Audio Science actress Shannyn Sossamon
Kyd son of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
Moxie Crimefrighter and Zolten daughter and son of Penn Gillette of Penn & Teller
Tu child of Rob Morrow and Debbie Ayre…and yes the kid’s name is Tu Morrow
Rebel, Rocket, Racer and Rogue (Robert Rodriguez, director)
Pirate son of Jonathan Davis, singer Korn
Seven and Puma son of Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 from Outkast and daughter of rapper DOC
Kingston and Zuma Nesta Rock- Gwen Stefani
Poet and Jagger Joseph Blue (a girl by the way!!)- Soleil Moon-Frye (aka Punky Brewster )
Bluebell Madonna Geri Halliwell (of the Spice Girls)
Calico daugher of rocker Alice Cooper
Whizdom and Tryumph- daughters of NBA star Jayson Williams
Yamma child of the late great James Brown
Alchamy Lance Henriksen/ Jane Pollack
Rebop child of Todd Rundgren
Elijah Bob Patricus Guggi Q , son Bono of U2
Banjo son of Rachel Griffiths
Bamboo son of rapper Big Boi of Outkast
Blue Angel The Edge (of U2)
Ptolemy son of actress Gretchen Mol

And my absolute favorite...I can't remember what the initials actually stand for...

I.P. Freely son of actor David Carradine

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

NFL- "Named Foolishly League"

I don't like football. Really I don't. I just can't seem to get into a sport where a bunch of grown men wearing tight pants chase around a piece of leather while purposely tackling each other, patting each other on the a$$ and then dance around like MC Hammer on crack once they reach the end zone (several hours later).

However, it has not escaped my attention that along with having big muscles, no neck, some speed and a willingness to endure brutal punishment at the hands of 300 pound men hitting you head on in your guts for a million plus bucks a year, an odd name seems almost a prerequisite for joining the NFL.

So after some research and consultation with a few guy friends of mine here are some of the more off the wall names of real (mostly current) NFL players. Most of these are first name only...although I did find a few intriguing first/last name combinations.

Ocho Cinco (it's legally changed)
Shawntae (typically this is a girl's name)
Ritchie Incognito
Syndric Steptoe

And my favorite just because you really can't say it with a straight face...

Dick Butkus

Monday, December 1, 2008

Georgia on my mind

In honor of my visit last week, today I want to pay special hommage to the great state of Georgia.

Now just so you know, I have a special affinity for Georgia. I lived there for several years, my daughter was born there, etc. etc. However... I have met some rather "interestingly" named folks during my stint there. To prove that it's not just me, the local paper published a list last year of some of the more "exotic" names that have come up in birth records over the past few years. The list was pretty extensive and very funny...Here are some of my favorite/highlights. The numbers indicate how many children were given that particular name.

You can never say the phrase "you weren't born in a zoo"

Badger 1
Cobra 2
Coyote 1
Cricket 5
Lamb 1
Viper 1
Tiger 16
Manatee 1

And what do you want to be when you grow up?

Attorney 2
Doctor 1
Jockey 2
Guitarist 1
Writer 1
Poet 1
Spy 1

(could be least no one named their child Thief)

I did say Georgia right? I think these parents might've been a little confused about location

Atlanta 19
Chicago 2
Boise 2
Dallas 820
Houston 220
Juneau 1
Memphis 63
Montreal 25
Raleigh 104
Philadelphia 1

A bit of international sophistication only sounds swanky and exotic

Madrid 4
Malaysia 143
Korea 11
Jamaica 36
Antigua 1
Trinidad 12
Nigeria 67
Seoul 1
Tijuana 11

Someday, mommy is hoping for an endorsement deal

Adidas 2

Converse 2
Godiva 3
Ikea 20
L'oreal 3
Nike 1
Atari 4
Sega 1
Sony 3
Timberland 10

And the winner(s) of the I'll take one guess on what your parents we're thinking when they named you award:

Wachovia 13

Winner of the mommy obviously let daddy name the baby award:

Michelob (thank goodness there is only 1)

see more oddly named Georgians here